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Sunday, February 15, 2009

Sad Love Story





A Sad Love Story telling us not to be afraid of expressing our Feelings.

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a frien until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before tha trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair o lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but b his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl…

“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.“I can’t”
“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment grabbing me.
“No… I am going to meet a friend…

He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all. He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days…200days… Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don’t know why…

Then one day…
Me: Um, Jin, I …
Jin: What…don’t drag, just say..
Me: I love you.
Jin: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home.
That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many…

Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was dark… he still didn’t call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.

Me: Jin…
Jin: Here…take this…
Again, he handed me a little doll.
Me: What’s this?
Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye.
Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
Jin: Today? Huh?
I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen. Then I shouted… “Wait…”
Jin: You have something to say?
Me: Tell me, tell me you love me…
Jin: What?!
Me: Tell me

I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.
“I don’t want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.”
That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb… and I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily… How could he…. I felt that… Maybe he is not the right guy for me…
After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn’t call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… everyday
After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw him on a street… with another girl… He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me…as he touched the doll… I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell… Why did he gave these to me… Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls…In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that… it’s going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?
I couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual…
Me: I don’t need it.
Jin: What….why…
I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again!
I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.
“I’m sorry” He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll…
Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!

But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then…

Honk~ Honk~
With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
“Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted… But he didn’t hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.
“Jin, move!” HONK~!! “Boom!” That sound, so terrifying.
That’s how he went away from me. That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.
After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him… And after spending two months like a crazy person… I took out the dolls.
Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days… when we were in love…

“One…two… three…” That was how… I started to count the dolls…
“Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty five…” It all ended with 485 dolls.
I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly…

“I love you~, I love you~” I dropped the dolls, shocked.

“I….lo..ve…you??” I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.

“I love you~ I love you~” It can’t be! I pressed all the dolls’ stomach as it piled on the side.
“I love you~”
“I love you~”
“I love you~”
Those words came out non-stop. I…love you… Why didn’t I realize that….That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn’t I realize that he love me this much… I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach, that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much.

“Jo…Do you know what today is? We’ve been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t say I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you… everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…”

The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can’t be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute…

For that… and for that reason… to me… it became courage… to live a beautiful life….

34 comments:

  1. i read the story ..... i dont know is it u who hv written this or not ... but certainally it was touching n i could stop myself to post a comment on this story ,,,,, it was good one..

    ReplyDelete
  2. it's really heart touching man.. i lik 2 read dis type of stories... plz if u hav a time read this blog http://heartspeaksit.blogspot.com/ definitely u ll feel

    ReplyDelete
  3. but that is only story no ture

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  4. hi neha, i read this story. its awsome yaar. its really touch the heart. nd its shows us that don't think that a person who stand infront of u, he's bad coz his/her behavior like rude person. if u ve any another story than pls. inform me on indyarocks or san_patil_424@yahoo.co.in
    Thank.

    ReplyDelete
  5. thanx neha 4 dis story yaar......its gr8... evn though i dn't trst in love bt ya i really like dis ...

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  6. neha its reli a gr8 story.. may b its true bt yaar in 2days world don't trst ne 1 dr,,, love ws wen der wer 2 lovers Romeo n Juliet bt nw (hUh)......

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  7. dear neha, really a very nice story. I agree with few that it is not always that if somebody is not saying words does not mean thathe/she is not saying anything. If u luv somebody try to read his / her eyes or actions. If he wasn't luving him then hy would he keep going giving a doll everyday. The girl should have thought about it. It was not that he was giving dolls to every girl he was meeting or was friend with.

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  8. neha its reli a gr8 story.. may b its true bt yaar in 2days world don't trst ne 1 dr,,, love ws wen der wer 2 lovers Romeo n Juliet bt nw

    ReplyDelete
  9. i've read the story and i felt sad,.,/.
    i now realized that you will only knew the important of a person when he is gone, what he really felt for you, and what he've lost because of you. Goodbyes make you think, they make you realized what you've lost and what you've taken for granted, they make you think that sometimes there's no next times, no second chances and no time outs.

    ReplyDelete
  10. really a touching story. nice effort if it was u who wrote th story

    ReplyDelete
  11. i read this story,,,,,,,,,
    very nice.......

    ReplyDelete
  12. kuch to baat hai......

    very nice

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  13. a nice sad stor i ever hear.

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  14. a relly heart touchin' story :(

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